So there WAS this guy…..that is how it always starts with my posts (which I haven’t posted in a while). He was my “husband” at work and I was his “wife”. His age: 31. My age: 20 almost 21. The cute things he would tell me, the good morning, good night, and checking up on me texts were all just lies. The warm hugs, the screaming from his jealousy when I talked to other guys were all lies. I saw it as someone caring but no, he has 3, yes THREE other girls he takes good care of too. Was he trying to set a record of how many girls he could get to fall for him in a row or something or maybe he knew that I am a stupid vulnerable gal who he thought would have sex with him just like that?!?!?! Well no and what pisses me off most is not the trash that he is, but the fact that la estupida (stupid) de mi fell for him. I let my guard down thinking oh no he would never want to hurt me, he is older and mature so he wouldn’t just be looking for someone to mess around with. The good thing he spilled out the beans before it got to that point. But I let my guard down and now here I am again. I think though what if I slept with him, what if this is a sign that I am never ever going to find a guy that only wants me and I just have to get it over with and not be a virgin anymore. I don’t know all these crazy issues in my mind. All I want to know from every guy is what is wrong with me?!? Is it my face, my body, my personality or what is it that NO guy wants to date me!!!! No one ever answers that question. I am sick and tired of always being the one to fall for a guy and not the other way around. I see girls taking advantage of their boyfriends and all I can think is oh my yeezus they dont know how to appreciate their guys when they have them because I know what it feels like to be the lonely 20 year old virgin who cant get a guy to even ask her out on a date. I know I am all over the place with this post but I am just free writing, whatever comes to my mind I just write. I am tired, just really tired of it all, school, work, life. I don’t care what happens anymore and that wasn’t me before, I used to be the happy 20 year old virgin who loved to go out, hang with friends and have a good time but everyday that goes by that I realize I still don’t have that someone special in my life it gets sad. I am done semi- venting.